Divorce is a GRIEF & TRAUMA! | Benussi & Co News

Though you aren’t mourning the death of someone you love, grief is a natural reaction to the loss of the life you thought you would have.

The breakdown of a relationship impacts everyone involved differently. Often, children or the couple themselves bottle up their emotions as a coping mechanism, however, this can cause them difficulties in the future.

We recently spoke to Lucy, Founder of Love Life Coaching & Events, a Sutton Coldfield business specialising in grief recovery coaching around bereavement, divorce, trauma and abuse, to discuss this further.

Lucy’s own story is remarkable. She set up her business in 2020 to give people the help and support she sadly didn’t receive when personally experiencing significant trauma and loss.

During 2015, life threw everything it had at Lucy as she experienced multiple variations of grief, including; the death of her parents, miscarriage, divorce, moving out of her marital home, the loss of her property business and financial issues.

Despite the pain of the past Lucy is now a fully qualified Trainer, Master NLP & Hypnotherapist, with certifications in Personal Evolutionary, Health Coaching, Life Coaching and Emotional Health Coaching & is currently training as a Trauma Informed Coach & Holistic Perimenopause & Menopause Coach. Lucy says, “I am able to relate to people on a deeper level due to my own life experiences. I can now share my knowledge and inspire people to come through very difficult times, from darkness to the light with my grief coaching support.”

We found speaking to Lucy fascinating. Here’s what she said:

What does grief during a divorce look like?

The breakdown of a significant relationship is one of the biggest griefs you can experience.

It’s not necessarily the divorce itself, it’s the breaking up of a family unit, losing friends for many years and having to rebuild your life. For some, this can cause changes in behaviour, feelings, emotions and mental health. Studies have shown that due to excessive stress & trauma to the mind & body, it will trigger you to experience different types of trauma responses named Fight, Flight or Freeze that can make day-to-day life very challenging.

Love Life Coaching & Events is here to listen and move your life forward with clarity. Anger and resentment are natural responses but are not pleasant emotions to live with. We work to process these feelings and aim to practice elements of forgiveness work.

Who do you tend to work with?

I’m pleased to say that my work can benefit anyone, including children.

Though I specialise in helping those experiencing grief, I often assist people struggling with burnout in the corporate world too.

Whatever your background, gender or age, if you are struggling with grief or trauma, I urge you to get in touch and remember that amidst life’s trials and tribulation’s, there’s always a beacon of hope: the ability to carry on loving the life you live and to live the life you once loved.

What course of treatment do you recommend?

I have developed a specialist grief-to-growth programme.

This involves 12 one hour sessions suitable for adults and children. Together, we work on processing, releasing and moving forward from the awful pain and heartache of grief.

Self esteem, mindset & growth training techniques play a part within the journey too.

“Remember, it’s not one day, it’s day one.”

Do you offer other coaching too?

I have tried to offer a range of options to suit those struggling. Please find details below:

Children & Teenager Recovery Coaching for Bereavement, Anxiety, Trauma, Depression and Abuse – Through my extensive training, I have learnt that most children’s behaviour changes & the root cause normally stems from grief or trauma they have previously experienced in their lives.
Personal Growth & Healing Coaching – In our breakthrough coaching sessions we focus on your overall life & a specific area in your life. There can be any number of reasons for this but feeling uncertain about who you really are in life and what you should be doing can be incredibly overwhelming and leaves a lot of really capable people feeling anxious, stressed and often doubting themselves. We get to the root cause of why you are behaving & feeling in a certain way & by using some very powerful Hypnotherapy and NLP techniques we can reprogram your thoughts, patterns & behaviours. Finding clarity and the confidence to stride forward with certainty is what you can certainly achieve through breakthrough coaching.

Grief Relief Workshops – Help ease the awful pain & heartache of Grief & Trauma. The workshops have been developed to calm the mind, reduce anxiety, teach self care & self love, relax and to release pain/trauma from the body & mind.
Events – We host monthly events for people to come along and offer support to others as-well as guidance. If you want to meet people who have shared similar experiences, we would love to have you.

I also offer support grief talk & support walks, every few months, where a group of us go out into nature and discuss the big issues together.

What motivates you?

Quite simply, I never want another person to experience the lack of guidance or support I did.

I launched Love Life Coaching & Events Ltd after going through a stage of life where I felt lost, depressed, anxious & completely unmotivated. The lack of professional help I received drives me to offer help and guidance to others.

My coaching is here to guide and help people find peace, calm, and a new happier, healthier and more prosperous life.

What’s next for you?

I am so passionate about what I do that I am now training others. Including health coaches, life coaches, grief counsellors, or anyone who has experienced their own grief/trauma & wants to make a difference, the more people that can help those in need, the better!

A book on ‘how to heal’ has also been discussed, but watch this space…

Do you have any advice?

Navigating life’s journey can be daunting, especially when faced with profound challenges. Whether you’ve recently experienced the heartache of losing a loved one or find yourself grappling with the complexities of a struggling relationship, know that you’re not alone and it’s not weak to seek assistance.