If the thought of spending Valentine’s Day alone is daunting and fills you with dread, there are ways to create a new you and be inspired to make plans for moving forward. Here, Helen Benussi, Director, Benussi & Co shares some of the successful tips clients have discussed with her as they have tackled being a divorcee on the most romantic day of the year.
“Being on the road to becoming a divorcee does not have to lead anyone towards an emotional breakdown and although the event is rarely easy emotionally, with the commercialism surrounding the date a constant reminder, taking a step back from all the hype of the day can be very rewarding.
Firstly, you are not alone. There are many people who have gone through a divorce and they understand. At Benussi & Co we have learned that there is a grief to the whole process which takes a natural route. Grieving is ultimately followed by healing but both are a part of the entire experience.
If Valentine’s Day is making you feel down or depressed, try to talk to those who have been through similar situations.
One thing we always suggest clients remember is that there are no demands to celebrate or feel pressure to impress anyone. In the grand scheme of things you will be saving yourself a fortune, both emotionally and financially.
Distraction is an excellent way to cope with the reminders that are hard to face. At times like this, it is far better to be around people who love you and will happily help you to get things off your mind. Also, it is just one day.
If you are newly divorced, you no longer have to go through an expensive routine unless of course you choose to do so as a way to feel better. To get out of negative emotions there are some great ways to improve your mood.
Buying flowers for a single friend is a lovely gesture that will be very much appreciated. Alternatively, to burn off any negative feelings a workout or new health regime that can be done with friends is an excellent way to lift the spirits.
Dinner at romantic venues will probably not be the best choice, but a night in with a good friend watching films or simply chatting over making new plans will help the time to pass more quickly, without focus on the day.
The worst thing to do is to stay alone and dwell on difficult feelings, which if fuelled by alcohol could tempt you to contact your ex. Don’t be tempted. It is far better to shut down the computer and distract yourself by staying busy doing something for yourself.
As a new divorcee, Valentine’s day does not have to be another glaring reminder that you are now single, it can be the day to make real changes just for you.”