Could The New Year Be Bad For Your Marriage?

It seems that ringing in a new year for many is the start of a daunting personal journey, with January now recognised as bringing in ‘Divorce Season’. While there are peaks throughout the year, with March, August and September also months where filings for divorce spike, January continues to be one of the busiest months for initiating divorce proceedings.

People tend to delay beginning the legal process during or just prior to the Christmas holidays, particularly if there are children to be considered.   The idea of staying married for one final family holiday together for many couples eases the guilt, even if a couple has already started to consider divorce long before Christmas or New Year. 

The new year is when most people look to make a new start in their life and this is particularly poignant for those who are unhappy in their marriage. With emotions potentially running high at that time of year, divorce is not a decision that should be be taken lightly. There are many practical aspects to evaluate.

The post-holiday jolt back to everyday reality can be hard to face as real-life issues start to surface once again.  People return to their old bad habits which can quickly cause frustration and tempers to rise by January 2nd.

At Benussi and Co offices, the initial consultations regarding divorce give people the opportunity to make educated decisions about their future. There are questions that many ask which tend to revolve around family, finances and security.  This gives everyone the chance to make an educated decision about moving forward.

Clients can evaluate the practicalities of divorcing as they prepare themselves for the processes involved.

Filing for divorce is emotionally draining and in our experience it will have been a long decision-making process before anyone makes that final commitment to start proceedings.

Knowing whether you are at the point of a permanent split is a deeply personal decision and there are no hard and fast rules that will indicate whether divorce is imminent.

There are some patterns however, that seem to occur when new clients make initial approaches to the Benussi and Co offices.

Money remains one of the main reasons to cause conflict in a relationship.  Overspending or taking on too much debt will create a lot of anxiety and frustration.  Hiding money or making purchases without discussing things with a spouse first, tends to lead one party or the other to distrust.  Money is an exceptionally emotional aspect in a marriage.

A complete breakdown of communications, where two people are unable to discuss issues between each other tends to lead to complete indifference.  This can occur when strong feelings have been harboured over time.  Another clear indicator of a marriage that has broken down irretrievably would be where the expectations of marriage are no longer met. Feeling unhappy, alone or unfulfilled, is something that often appears in our initial discussions with clients.

If one spouse has been the bread winner and the other has been the sole care giver, both have different pressures and stresses in terms of raising the family and managing the home. Dramatic changes to roles within a marriage or relationship can cause huge amounts of stress that over time become resentments which cannot be resolved.

The new year comes after a time when emotions have run high and if a marriage is creating unhappiness or anger then it will cause a breaking point.

If there are any issues you wish to discuss in complete confidence regarding divorce or family matters then please call 0121 248 4001

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