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We Were Married For So Long…What Do I Do Now?

It has been said that the ups and downs of a relationship are part of the glue that binds people together, and long marriages are perhaps considered the epitome of this statement. For many there is perhaps a belief that things will work out simply because they always have before, so for a lot of people the discovery that their spouse wants to leave or has indeed already moved on is an unbearable challenge, with the idea of divorce a terrifying prospect.

Assumptions associated with ‘being happy’ have proven to be dangerous ground, with a lot of people stunned or in physical shock when their spouse announces that they want out. The idea that someone who has held a pivotal position in a long standing relationship wants to leave, or worse has already moved on with someone else can have devastating effects.

Emotional upheaval is not the easiest thing to have to handle when beginning the process of divorce with tears, anger and fears about life ahead all taking grip very quickly. Discovering that someone has stopped caring will naturally have its effect and could have deeply emotional consequences and this is when the right legal expertise is essential.

Experience and support for you

As an experienced team of matrimonial lawyers, Benussi & Co has seen that for a lot of people who have been married for a long period of time concerns arise very quickly about position and possessions. Distress and anger kick in as immediate reactions, which don’t help to focus on the important part of the whole situation – you. Family and friends’ involvement, whilst generally very well intentioned, fuels fears and these have the potential to add more misery to any emotional fire for an injured party, which really does not necessarily help the divorce proceedings.

The process of working through a divorce can seem daunting and complicated which is why as a niche practice, we have the skills and experience to help clients cope with the changes that occur.

Learning to accept change and deal with the prospect of a new life is possible without too much baggage or shadows from the past. An emotional wound from a divorce is just like any other grief and whilst it is sometimes difficult to accept that a spouse has moved on, it is important not to let this affect decisions about a future life, that in any other situation would be handled without the emotion.

As a legal team we know that separating is hard which is why we have opened the Benussi Holistic Lounge.

At low points in any relationship negotiations over property and possessions will always be potentially tricky – decisions will have to be made that may well look as though it is undermining the past and the positivity that was once there.

“I need someone to talk to”

Helen Benussi, Director “As solicitors the Benussi & Co team is here to help guide clients through the process of divorce, however, so often we feel we want to give more emotional support than we are qualified to offer. The why? when? and was it all me? questions are difficult to navigate, and for clients trying to search for those deeper reaching answers it can be a seductively bad habit to break.

This is why we have launched the holistic lounge. Through this, we intend to help clients who would like further support, to work their way through the emotional distresses.

Living a life that is forward-facing helps clients to make better decisions – they learn as they go but they can find a positive as a result.”

Benussi & Co – a law firm that makes a difference



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