Sadly, I know from many years’ experience in the matrimonial law business that the much-anticipated summer vacation too often proves a bitter disappointment. So much so, it signals the beginning of the end of countless marriages.
Early September is one of the busiest times of year for divorce lawyers – a direct result of the stresses of the summer. Relationships that were teetering on the brink before the holidays can slide over the edge when couples are forced to face up to the fact – through spending a fortnight in each other’s pockets – the marriage no longer works. Being together 24/7 shines the spotlight on a relationship in a way little else does.
So, now you’re back home and wondering what on earth to do: for if you and your other half can’t be happy in a sun-drenched, exotic location, what hope is there for the marriage?
As you gather your thoughts and mull your options, what you need to have at your finger tips is information. Knowledge is power: the more knowledge you have, the better equipped you are to make the right decision about your marriage.
Seeking Relate counselling is one avenue you might explore; another is making an appointment to see a dedicated divorce lawyer. I spend a lot of my time attempting to salvage relationships. Sadly, some can’t be saved and will end up in the divorce courts. But there are plenty of relationships that seem doomed that can, in fact, be revived.
The number of people who come to see me regularly – say once every two years – over quite a long period of time is on the increase. What we do at these sessions is to go through the pros and cons of getting divorced. When we analyse the pros, they often outweigh the emotional and financial trauma of ending the marriage.
Many of the people I’ve advised and counselled are still with their spouses a decade or more on. If I bump into them at a social event, I tend to get a wink across the room – a signal that the marriage is still on track.
So, if you’ve returned from holiday convinced your marriage is dead in the water, then do make an appointment to see a dedicated matrimonial lawyer. He or she will be able to arm you with the knowledge you need – and should also be able to spot whether your relationship is salvageable. Often, expert outsiders can see the wood from the trees in way those involved cannot.
Seeking legal advice doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll end up divorced. Who knows, it might pave the way for next summer’s holiday to be a great success.